I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
