If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
