apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize