just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
