So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
