If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
