True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
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