he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
