you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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