If i come over, it means nothing
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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