My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
True but thats because hes a fetus.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
