if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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