Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
