Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
