he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
