Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize