They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
