Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
