honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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