its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
