I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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