It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
