3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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