Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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