Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
