i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
