no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
