So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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