Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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