oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
