I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
