I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
