It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
