Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize