"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
