ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
