Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
