Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
