toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
