ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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