does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize