So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
