You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
