ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
