Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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