I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
