can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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