dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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