He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize