I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
