it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
