someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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