this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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