Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
