I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize