We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
