hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
A+ Viking dick
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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