doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
