This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
