I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
How does it feel to date your dad?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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