Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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