How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
