You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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