you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
