She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You ruined the universe
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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