just tell him i said nine months
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
