obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
