STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
